bang bang, my baby shot me down
by OneshotPrincess
Summary: Souji, your boyfriend, a detective - a lie. The thought makes you flinch. He lied to you, Souji lied to you and you feel hollow inside, you feel betrayed. And the worst part is you have no right to feel this way, none at all. Because you lied to him too. At least you know the truth now, whereas Souji's still clueless. ...You wish you'd never found out.


**A/N:** From this prompt on the kink meme: So I read this text post on tumblr that I really really liked. Basically, it went like this- a protagshipping Mr and Mrs smith au where killing shadows is a business and the SEES and the IT are rivals and Souji and Minato meet and fall in love, both unaware that the other works for their rival organization until one day all hell breaks loose and they have to figure out whether they ever really knew each other to begin with…

* * *

 _You shiver as a cold arm snakes around your torso, slipping under your shirt. You curl tighter into a ball and place your hand on his arm but otherwise make no move to displace him._

" _Souji," you complain blearily, scrunching your eyes closed tighter. It's one of the few nights you're home, no Shadows to chase or debriefing to do. Just your luck that tonight's the night Souji decides to come home at whatever-o'-clock in the morning._

 _You turn around in his arms and he shifts as well until you're both tangled in the covers and his head is resting in the crook of your neck. You sigh in contentment as his body starts warming up under the covers. "How was work?" you mumble._

" _Cold," he gripes, "And tiring."_

" _Did you catch your crook, though?"_

" _Yeah," you feel Souji smile against your collarbone. "We put em away."_

* * *

The memory comes unbidden to you and makes you feel a little sick. Souji, your boyfriend, a detective - a lie. The thought makes you flinch. He _lied_ to you, Souji lied to you and you feel hollow inside, you feel betrayed. And the worst part is you have no right to feel this way, none at all. Because you lied to him too. At least you know the truth now, whereas Souji's still clueless.

…You wish you'd never found out.

You wish you'd never run into that building with that Shadow. You wish the IT had never gotten involved with SEES business. After a few initial skirmishes, the two teams had mostly managed to stay out of each other's ways despite the lingering animosity and the not-so-friendly competition. Why couldn't tonight have been the same?

You force yourself to recall the events that led to this moment right now, trying to ingrain every detail into your memory. You remember going into the abandoned building with the IT squad. You remember squabbling with them for the kill -it all seems so ridiculously petty now- before the Shadow's separates you from your team and you end up with _him_.

You'd been forced to team up but you hadn't really been able to work together. And then the Shadow had lunged, he'd just barely avoided the attack but his mask had cracked and-

You remember half of the mask falling to the floor and you remember your heart nearly stopping at the sight that greeted you. Right now, you feel bile rising to your throat. He could have died, if he'd been just a moment slower. _Souji_ could have died and _you would have let him_. This used to be about _protecting_ people. Where did you all go so wrong?

You wonder if you should have guessed at some point that there was something off with your boyfriend. But it all fit so well. After all he's a cop in a hectic city; of course he'd be busy working at odd hours, right? And you're the PA of the mysterious heiress to the Kirijo group who's very severe and demands that you cater to her every whim and that's why you're late-

Fuck it all sounds so ludicrous now that you almost can't believe it. The fact of the matter is the both of you were probably so preoccupied in maintaining your own covers that you never bothered looking closely at the other. So you couldn't have known. You could never have connected the IT's quiet and snarky leader to Souji, _your Souji._

You didn't know enough about the man. You don't know enough about Souji. And you'd thought, you were almost certain that you- that you were in love with him.

The realization shakes you to your core and you have to work very hard to calm your breathing, to tame the harsh, ragged gasps that threaten to spill from your lips. You've faced down monsters without flinching. This shouldn't have been affecting you this badly. But it is, oh god, it is.

You don't get any more time to think about what you should do next when the door opens and your head snaps towards the sound. You're sure you must look like a deer caught in headlights. You stand up unsteadily and open your mouth to say something but when he's walking towards you, loosening the tie around his neck, it all feels so normal. Like nothing has changed. Like it's just another day in your lives. You're almost certain that it had just been a dream, a bad nightmare. Then you notice his split lip. You know exactly how that happened.

You should say something about this. You should say something, anything to let him know that you know now that the two of you are two sides of the same coin and not in a good way. He deserves to know. You deserved to know. You both deserve the truth.

But then he looks up at you and smiles and the words die in your throat. You can't get them out. Instead you comb your eyes over his appearance -he doesn't look very dishevelled, you wonder where he cleaned up- and ask, "What happened to your lip?"

"I fell," he barely hesitates. The shrug of his shoulders seems almost apologetic. You might not have paid it any heed on any other night. Tonight the words make you cringe inside. Souji is never clumsy; he is nothing if not precise. He takes measured steps, speaks in a measured voice and carefully deliberates before speaking. Even his breathing is steady. It has to be. He's Leader.

You raise an eyebrow to show that you don't buy his story but he doesn't notice, too busy shrugging off his coat. You try to quell the turmoil inside you before your feet start moving forward, almost without permission.

You're not sure why you're doing this right now, this is probably the last thing you should be doing. You're a mess. You haven't felt this way since the night your team lost Shinji. But when you grab the back of Souji's head and pull him into a kiss, when he places his hands on your hips, slips his tongue past your lips and moans into your mouth- it's still the best feeling in the world.

When you separate, the ghost of his breath sends electricity dancing across your skin.

"What was that for?" he smiles a little lopsidedly at you. You don't bother replying. Your hands trail down his chest until you twist your fingers through his belt loops, your intent clear.

"Can we not tonight?" he asks softly. "I'm a little tired." Of course he is. You look down at your fingers.

"Please?" you request just as quietly. You feel him shift his weight around a little before his hand finds the back of your head and tilts you up to look at him. You're not sure what he sees on your face but even though it makes his eyebrows furrow, he makes no further protests as you grab his wrist and pull him along to your bedroom. He obliges when you start pulling his clothes off of him, reciprocates in kind. And when you press an open-mouthed kiss next to his Adam's apple (you know how sensitive his neck is) he lets out the same breathy hum he always does.

He's still the same Souji.

Even so, you feel a little like you're falling apart when he starts stroking you. You're trembling inside and out and you make no effort to stifle your groans. You bury your head against his chest as you grip him in turn, eliciting the same soft moans. Funnily enough, you're the one who's loud in bed.

Souji's always been gentle but firm with you. It gets a little frustrating on occasion when you want it rough and you have to practically beg him to give it to you and Souji just responds by grinning wickedly and responds by going slow, so painfully slow that you feel like you're going to go insane if you don't find release. But it's still always so fucking good.

Tonight, on the other hand, you're the ones taking things slow. Your kisses are sloppy and your touches are a strange mix of urgent and languid. You realize that you're trying to make this last as long as possible, as if it could all slip away the moment you let go. The way he responds to you, you wonder if Souji feels it too.

When Souji slips his cool fingers inside you, you feel as if something's shattered inside you. The dam breaks, you pull him close and finally ask him for more, more. And he gives it to you without preamble. There's something off about your joining tonight and you're certain now that he feels it too. But he indulges you none the less and you're grateful for it.

After you've both finished and you're lying side-by-side trying to catch your breaths, coming down from your high, Souji tales your hand in his.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," your reply is too short to be believable but you could chalk it up to breathlessness. Not that Souji would believe it.

"You don't seem very fine," he insists, rubbing his thumb across your knuckles.

 _Don't I? Do you think you know me well enough to tell? Do we know each other at all?_

You close your eyes and try to imagine a world where Shadows and bounties and rival teams didn't exist. You try to imagine a space where it's just you and him and the world is left outside. It's a stupid thought.

"I'm fine," you repeat.

* * *

 **A/N:** Confession time. I wrote the text post the prompt is taken from. When I visited the kink meme and saw someone actually posted it there, I couldn't resist and ended up writing this. Probably the shortest thing I've ever written yet but I still have a lot of ideas for this (things like how they might have met, what's up with the SEES and the IT). I might continue this later if I find the motivation and time

For now I hope you guys liked this!


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